MMM-040: Tomorrow’s Newspaper, TODAY!
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A Ken Nordine-inspired riff on the question from the Boglehead’s Guide to Investing: What would you do if for a year you got tomorrow’s newspaper, today?
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What would You do if for a year you got tomorrow’s newspaper, TODAY?
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Don’t hate me for saying this, Paul, but I think that under these circumstances I would most likey become an active investor for that one year becuase we all know it’s those highly risky and volitle stocks that tend to have higher day-to-day increase in price. The same goes for the day-to-day decrease, but you would know when to sell. And if you knew where a stock price was going, wouldn’t you rather find the ones that change the most and then short it when you knew it would fall? Just hope that short term capital gains tax doesn’t eat up the majority of your returns. Or, you could just gain Bohemian citizenship and forget about the tax all together (I was listening to an older show today). After that year, invest the millions in some ETF’s and index funds and live off the interest.
If I would recive the tomorrow’s newspaper today, I would short the decliners, and buy the winners, and then write a book
Hi Paul. If I got tomorrows paper today I would look at the sports section and see who won and place a bet on one game each day. I would look at the stock section and pick one stock that went up and buy it so I could sell it tomorrow and bank the profit. Once I had made a few hundred billion dollars I would try to corner the oil market and drive opec out of business and I would manufacture cheap products in the US to sell into china at less than my cost using WallMart as a retail base of operations.
I’m not sure how much that would help, paul. Tomorrow’s newspaper is today’s news. I could probably read all of the same articles on that newspaper’s webpage today. I guess I’d cancel my subscription, and put that money in my Roth IRA.
Besides, haven’t most newspapers dropped their stock sections?
Hi, Paul,
Hmmm. I suppose the fastest way to a fortune would be to get the MegaMillions or PowerBall lottery numbers in advance. After doing so, the next steps would be to pay off all debts (mortgage & such), secure my future and that of my family, then use the rest to help other people. Given enough money perhaps I could make that old TV show “The Millionaire” a real one, you know, where the guy gives someone $1 million anonymously. Perfect the random acts of kindness. Of course I’m glad that you’re only having this subscription run for one year only, otherwise knowing the score in advance could well become like the Twilight Zone episode A Nice Place to Visit where getting everything you want isn’t quite what you might think it to be!!! Other than that, an interesting premise. Of course we ALL coluld have used this service on 10 Sept 2001, or in Hawaii on 6 December 1941. But there’s the rub, will just knowing the future let you change it or is it already changed by your knowing? It was after all a Rendezvous with Yesterday in The Time Tunnel where they tried to show the Captain of the Titanic the papers of 15 April 1912 and following, to no success. Fun idea to play with – and,as always, another good show!
Best,
AIMster
Hi Paul,
If you got the news paper a day early, I wouldnt buy stock! I would buy OPTIONS! PUTS and CALLS are where the “REAL Money” is! You could gain a hundred fold over actually owning any stock in a company.
Keep up the good work!
Shawn.
Paul, who needs to mortage the house? Taking $100 dollars and finding one stock that went up 25% a day, after 100 trading days I would have $49,090,9346,529. Somehow I think this would be more than enough money to retire, don’t you? Then the question would be what to do with the excess and that would be a question best answered by the Gates Foundation.
That would be a stock each day increasing by 25%.
Re: Tomorrow’s news today…
First powerball (a smaller, less suspicious winning). Then I would leave the country to put the money in an overseas account. Spend my days in either the south pacific or the carribean daily trading every 80 pip move. After it starts getting old, being the richest person in the world, I would invest in index funds. Then for a couple of issues, I would participate in scavenger hunts. Then sell what everything found on ebay for a good cause. And the last month would be consisting of selling ‘stock pick newsletters’ to the lazy income statement affluent investor.
The first thing I would do is pick the winning lotto numbers. Then, I would milk the stock market.
After I was filthy rich, I would probably run for president of something.
Great podcast.
If I had tomorrow’s paper, for a year, why would I even bother investing in stocks? I’d put my money on lottery numbers or on winning horse combinations! They have far greater returns than the best-performing stocks. Then I’d take my winnings and bet on more lotteries.
The whole point of investing in the stock market is to gain a relatively modest return by offsetting risk with some prior knowledge about a company’s fundamentals. With tomorrow’s paper, who needs prior knowledge about anything other than the winning numbers?
PDB, you’re awesome.
Gingi
First, I would open brokerage accounts at every firm on the street. As “front running” is such a pervasive problem on the , this is the best way I can think of to use my perfect information for about 1 month. After that I might as well cancel the subscription because my brokerage firm’s prop desk will be executing well ahead of my paltry retail orders once they get wise to me.
Second, I would hire the best securities law defense firm I could hire – due to the inevitable call I will be receiving from the SEC regarding insider trading !
Cheers,
Pug
I would short stocks that lost money and buy stocks that increase in price. Do that a few things and I’ll retire.
I would check the obituary make sure I am not in there then I would check the most active list for double digit gainers and decliners and then place limit orders near the high or low for the day and then go fishing or play golf.
Paul, If I received tomorrows newspaper today, I would not be doing what Cramer is doing. After a year of being fully leveraged (unlike the recent hedge fund blowup) I would lay on a beach for the rest of my lifetime. Oh, by the way I would own that beach.
Shameless self promotion (the Cramer way). Check out my website and blog at:
http://dovinvestmenttips.tripod.com/
http://dovinvestmenttips.blogspot.com/
With Sunday’s newspaper, I would bet on sports exclusively and use the down time to work on humanitarian projects.
Rob
Stock market? You’re in the wrong section of
the newspaper. What better way to “grow” your
money than betting on the horses. A $2 trifecta
will pay anywhere from $200 to $1500 per race.
You’ll never leave the Off Track Betting facility
except to get the newspaper.
Sunday’s Paper
With Sunday’s paper (others also) maybe you could become a supper hero. Find out when crimes are getting committed and come to the rescues. With all the money you made on the stocks you could buy the gadgets and learn all the martial arts. Do you think that is how batman became a hero?
I would search the paper for acts of crime and/or natural disasters and then do my best to alter or prevent the events from harming innocent people. Maybe that way I could become FAMOUS and RICH!!!!