IFA Ads work! Stories from Bermuda. Guns, Cocaine, Brothels. Shipwrecks. Coin shortages. Unlimited food. Miracle Fruit. John Adams. Cramer’s Stability portfolio. Google stockscreener. LPS updated.

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 MMM-107: Bermuda Shorts [38:10m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (6372)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include:     

• IFA Advertising on MMM is WORKING!
• Stories from our Bermuda cruise
• Guns, Cocaine, and Brothels
• Bermuda tattoo
• Bingo
• Shipwreck.net, scratched gold coins
• coin shortages
• Unlimited food
• Dread fruit: the opposite of Miracle Fruit?
• HBO’s fantastic John Adams
• Cramer’s 2008 *Stability* Portfolio includes DOW, PBT, WWE, CPL, and HCP
• Tool is Google Finance Stockscreener
• I’ve updated the Lazy Portfolio Smackdown to include March dividends.

Music from music.podshow.com:
Alta Plaza - XRAY DOGS
Healthy Eating - Dan Elson
Money - Theory in Motion
Runaway Train - Under Feather

Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

Congressman David Crockett, yes Davy Crockett, on charity and the US Constitution.

I was celebrating 15 glorious years of marital bliss (yes, with my wife) in Bermuda this past week. So in lieu of a normal show, I read this wonderful story about congressman Davy Crockett. I hope you enjoy it. I’ll be back to the normal routine next Friday and tell you all about my trip.

 

 MMM-106: Not Yours to Give [18:18m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (6764)

April is a bad month to speculate. Proof that past stock prices don’t predict their future price. I’m asking you to delete that picture. Tons of pennies. I love Portal. Review Lazy Portfolio Smackdown.

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 MMM-105: Tons of Pennies [29:14m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (7063)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include:    

• April is a bad month to speculate on stocks. I list the other bad times also.
• Jim Cramer has to be right 4 times to beat the market: Which stock & when to buy, which stock & when to sell. Multiply that by 10 years. Crazy.
• Our Tool this week is Inspectd.com which helps prove to yourself that you can’t pick a winning stock based upon its past stock price.
• IGotCramered.com is back in action now.
• Law enforcement official "asks" you do do something?
• Some guy stores tons of copper pennies in his garage.
• I loved playing Portal. Definitely recommended!

Bohemian Financial Rhapsody

Is this the real price? Is this just fantasy?
Financial landslide No escape from reality

Open your eyes
And look at your buys and see.
I’m now a poor boy (poor boy)
High-yielding casualty
Because I bought it high, watched it blow
Rating high, value low
Any way the Fed goes
Doesn’t really matter to me, to me

Mama - just killed my fund
Quoted CDO’s instead
Pulled the trigger, now it’s dead
Mama - I had just begun
These CDO’s have blown it all away
Mama - oooh-hoo-ooo
I still wanna buy
I sometimes wish I’d never left Goldman at all.

(guitar solo)

~~~

I see a little silhouette of a Fed
Bernanke! Bernanke! Can you save the whole market?
Monolines and munis - very very frightening me!
Super senior, super senior
Super senior CDO - magnifico

I’m long of subprime, nobody loves me
He’s long of subprime CDO fantasy
Spare the margin call you monstrous PB!
Easy come easy go, will you let me go?
Peloton! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Peloton! We will not let you go
(let him go !)
Peloton! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go
let me go (never) Never let you go - let me go Never let me go – ooo
No, no, no, no, No, NO, NO ! -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
S&P had the devil put aside
for me
For me, for me, for me

~~~

So you think you can fund me and spit in my eye?
And then margin call me and leave me to die Oh PB - can’t do this to me
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
No price really matters
No liquidity
Nothing really matters - no price really matters to me
Any way the Fed goes…..

• Matrix Rhapsody & Bohemian Matrix
• Economic Stimulus? Can we please get the gobmint out of the business of "managing" the economy?
• Can we please get back to using REAL money?
• I review the results of the 2008 Lazy Portfolio Smackdown sponsored by Index Funds Advisors. The bears are leading the charge, so far…

Music from music.podshow.com (and from YouTube.com):
Runaway Train - Under Feather
Money - Theory in Motion
Bohemian Financial Rhapsody - Geoff Smith

Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

What lost decade? A novel of financial collapse. Fed comic books. Another guru says buy gold. Say goodbye to pennies, nickels, and quarters.

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 MMM-104: Finding the Lost Decade: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (6774)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include:    

According to the Benchmark Your Portfolio tool at IFA.com, while it may have been a "Lost Decade" for the US Large Cap stocks, turns out it was a "Boss Decade" for a broadly diversified portfolio of index funds such as the Index Portfolio 100.

Results are adjusted for inflation.

• You got Rickrolled!
• What lost decade? Indexfolio 100 is up 130%
• I read "Full Faith & Credit" a novel about financial collapse.
• Reading now:
• The Creature from Jekyll Island by G. Edward Griffin
• The Dick Davis Dividend
• The Disciplined Investor by Andrew Horowitz
• From Wall St. to the Great Wall by Burton Malkiel
• Gold: The Once and Future Money by Lewis
• Check out the Index Funds Advisors quote of the week.
• Find me at Twitter: MadMoneyMachine
• Our Tool isn’t IGotCramered.com because it apparently got Cramered.
• Our Tool instead is a series of comic books about the Federal Reserve.
• The musical interpretation of Step 3: Stock Pickers
• I review the Fox Business panel’s stock picks for 2008
• We went to the Dollar store and got 22 things. Will it go the way of Motel 6?
• Penny Dreadful says they talked about rounding to a nickel. Bogus! Round to the dime by simply dropping a decimal place. Then eliminate production of pennies and nickels (and quarters).
• Lost faith in Capitalism yet? Read Ten Days that Changed Capitalism.
• Our Guru says the price of gold is a reciprocal of confidence in Ben Bernanke and folks like him.

Music from music.podshow.com (and from YouTube.com):
Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
Runaway Train - Under Feather
Money - Theory in Motion

Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

Did the Plunge Protection Team save the markets this week? Our Guru says active investors spend $100 Billion per year trying to beat the market. Our Tool measures the implosion. Cramer’s recommendation on BS.

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 MMM-103: Plunge Protection Team [29:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (6723)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include:  

• How are you doing? What a wild market. I think this one has more uncertainty in it than the dot com crash.
• Perhaps not paying attention to the market is the best idea? These are indeed interesting times.
• I detail my active trading failures.
• EconTalk was great this week. Catch the interview with Tyler Cowen about the Fed and the gold standard. Good stuff. Russ needs to read up about why gold makes good money though.
• Christopher says to say hey to Rikard in Japan.
• If the market prices in all that is known about the markets, why does it keep going down?
• I don’t think Jim Cramer was saying stay in Bear Stearns stock, I think he meant to keep your account there if you had one. Nonetheless, people are up in arms.
• And don’t forget to visit the Cramer Crap auction.
• Ron Paul asks John McCain about the Plunge Protection Team. John sounds like Miss Teen SC. Read the article about the PPT in the WaPo. Here’s someone saying the PPT bought stocks last Tuesday. Here’s an article refuting the PPT as an urban myth.
• Our Guru says active investors are spending a whopping $100 Billion per year trying to beat the stock market. Mark Hulbert takes up the story in the NYTimes.
• I read the Kindergardner’s Guide to the Credit Crisis
• Our Tool helps you keep track as the popcorn kernels pop.
• Check out the Index Funds Advisors quote of the week.
• Find me at Twitter: MadMoneyMachine

Music from music.podshow.com:
ALTA PLAZA - XRAY DOGS
A Rush of Air DiscoBalls Mix - monotommy

Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

Inflation… or DEflation? Shutting down the FED. Where to invest now. Guru says go for the gold. Tool helps calculate worth of money. Gold inches toward sextillion.

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 MMM-102: Whip Inflation Now [29:21m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (7223)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include:  

• Is it time to Whip Inflation Now? I actually remember having one of these buttons. I didn’t know at the time, nay, I didn’t learn until about 30 years later, that inflation was caused by the government creating more money and not buy greedy businesses, as was told to us all along.
• Are we headed for inflation? OR Deflation? OR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME?
• According to the Resource Investor podcast, gold does good during both inflation and deflation.
• Jim Rogers says if he were Fed chairman, he would shut it down and then resign. I wish I would have listened to him and bought commodities.
• So, where do we invest now?
• One thing is for certain, picking individual stocks won’t beat the market. Instead, buy the WHOLE market using low-cost index funds.
• Our Guru said that a gold standard is the only way to protect us against the welfare statists.
• Congress is taking up HR 5512 to try to modernize our coins. They instead should just eliminate them.
• Our Tool helps you calculate how much your cash is worth today.
• Stock pickers don’t use the proper benchmark. They compare themselves to cash instead of to a portfolio of index funds. And even then, they don’t calculate the risks they are taking.
• Relax and listen to some music.
• Gold goes over $1000.
• Warren Buffet says our country is experiencing widespread pain.
• He also admits a mistake in his investments. 
• But, he says America will still prosper.
• How can someone who becomes a state governor be such a fool? Isn’t there any good politician?
• Don’t join the fool’s brigade. Take the Risk Capacity Survey and fight for your financial freedom.
• Find me at Twitter: MadMoneyMachine

Music from music.podshow.com:
ALTA PLAZA - XRAY DOGS
Good as Gold - Admiral Twin
The Fools Brigade - Admiral Twin

Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

Gold going to $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000/oz? My Mr. Sharpe portfolio. Guru on The Fall of the USA. Warren Buffet. Step 2. Family Project. Board games.

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 MMM-101: The Perfect Portfolio [39:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (7436)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include: 

• Family project: A trip to China?
• Waiting to buy an iPhone.
• John Davidson says change in China is in the form of small bills.
• Two top board games are Puerto Rico and Power Grid.
• Evander says I need to check my web site from some other computer just to see what others are seeing. What are you seeing?
• I review the Lazy Portfolio Smackdown results so far.
• See that star at the top left of the image? That would have a high Sharpe Ratio.
• I explain The Perfect Portfolio that I have found. It is the Mr. Sharpe portfolio.
• I’m buying VGPMX, VGENX, FXA, GLD, SLV, and even some SKF (which I didn’t mention on the show).
• Our Guru this week is Bill Bonner of the Daily Reckoning site and co-author of Empire of Debt: The Rise of an Epic Financial Crisis. Written 2.5 years ago, it is proving to be a pretty accurate prophesy.
• The government taxes us twice with inflation. By printing money (causing rising prices) and by capital gains taxes on those risen prices.
• Warren Buffet said, "You can’t say that the trouble we’ve experienced and the trouble we’re likely to experience won’t lead to something pretty severe."
• The Rich Dad guy and his guest Mike Malone say gold might go to a sextillion dollars per ounce (at the 12:45 minute mark).
• Who can you believe? Step 2: The Nobel Laureates.
• Find me at Twitter: MadMoneyMachine

Music from music.podshow.com:
Runaway Train - Under Feather

Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

I reveal the secret I’ve kept for 2 years. Congratulations on show 100 come from lots of folks. Revisiting some fun things from past shows. OK, it is an extravaganza.

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 MMM-100: Secret Revealed! [38:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (12562)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include: 

• Mark Hebner calls in congratulations. Thank you Mark!
• Rich from Boston calls in congratulations. He took the Risk Capacity Survey and got a copy of Index Funds: The 12-Step Program for Active Investors!
• Three of my favorite songs as a youngster were

• Last Train to Clarksville - The Monkees
• Band of Gold - Freda Payne
• American Pie - Don Maclean

Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

FANTASTIC TOOL: FOLIODEX.COM. Agent 99. My rant on pennies and nickels. An Obama nation?  He whose name shall not be spoken wants to rally. Emailers. Guru’s new book. Save keystrokes. 1984.

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 MMM-099: Igniting the Superchargers [30:47m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (8933)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include:

• Show number 99 celebrated with Toto’s 99. Whoops, some of you folks don’t like music. Get Smart the movie will be out this spring.
• Get rid of pennies and nickels? Better yet: get rid of a decimal place!
• Obama thinks that when you keep your own money that what it really means is that it is taking money from social programs. They think estate taxes are great for the gobmint because, after all, the guy’s DEAD, so let’s go get his money!
• Presidential candidate HE WHOSE NAME SHALL NOT BE UTTERED wants a march on Washington to help reach the Remnant.
• Yahoo! TechTicker is up and running and Jim Rogers was an early guest. Thanks to an Email from Paul in Rhode Island for alerting me.
• Garen recommends the book The Economic Naturalist by Robert H. Frank. Fun to read especially if you don’t have a BS degree in economics. Garen also asks about Harry S. Dent, the demographic stock forecaster.
• Barry in Newfoundland wants to know how to get started in index investing for those of us who do not have the type of capital on hand to get into the game. Answer: 1) Invest in company-matched retirement plan. 2) Save money. 3) Buy VTSMX or VTMGX for a minimum of $3000.
• Our Guru, Phil DeMuth, writes Ben Stein’s recent books for him and the latest book is a doozy.
• The keyboard shortcut to save you thousands of keystrokes: In the address bar of your browser, instead of typing the full URL (like http://www.ifa.com) just type IFA and then press CTRL-Enter and magic happens! While you are at IFA, take their Risk Capacity Survey. This is absolutely the first step you need to take! Get the free 4-CD set An Audio Journey to Tradeless Nivana.
• Our Tool this week is fantastic. The kind folks at Foliodex.com notified me that they are putting together a tool to help compare lazy portfolios! Check out the current results and compare the Lazy Portfolio Smackdown entries!
• Have you read chapter 2 of Index Funds: The 12-Step Program for Active Investors? Gotta know those three factors!
• Anais Mitchell plays 1984.

Music from music.podshow.com:
ALTA PLAZA - X-RAY DOGS
Runaway Train - Under Feather

Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

Are you part of The Remnant? Super Tuesday results. Wesley Snipes. IRS cost basis reporting. David calls in. How about a podcast with the four independent guys? Capitalism. Lazy Portfolio Smackdown review.

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 MMM-098: Reaching the Remnant [35:53m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (9457)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include:

• Results from Super Tuesday
• Call the voicemail line to support show #100
• Take the Risk Capacity Survey, then buy a copy of Index Funds: The 12-Step Program for Active Investors
• Wesley Snipes was found not guilty of tax fraud. But was convicted of misdemeanor accounts for failure to file a tax return. Pres Bush wants to make that a felony now. Congrats Wesley.
• Gobmint may make law requiring brokerage firms to report your cost basis.
• David from The Fast Money Machine calls in with two questions. Why hold MSFT and worry about the taxes?
• Listener, what do you think? Should the four of us top independent investing podcasts (including Andrew Horowitz The Disciplined Investor and Brian Preston The Money-Guy) team up to make a podcast?
• Our Guru’s Reality Guide has 10 questions to help you find out if you are a member of the Remnant.
• Jack writes about Capitalism. Is it in trouble? He cites two interesting sources: The Story of Stuff and Marketplace - American Public Radio Consumed. Mark Hebner has always said there are only two times when you should sell funds from your portfolio 1) When you need the money or 2) When you lose your faith in capitalism. Note that if #2 happens, we probably have bigger things to worry about!
• I review the Lazy Portfolio Smackdown both for one month and for over seven years.

• 

  Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763

   

Change! Could we REALLY eliminate the income tax? Politicians want the change from our pockets. What to do in a recession. Guru says buy China and commodities. Tool for making your own e-book.

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 MMM-097: Supporting Change [22:36m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (9638)

The Mad Money Machine is proud to be
sponsored by Index Funds Advisors at ifa.com.   

Topics in this week’s show include:

• Change: Bag of $1000 face value silver quarters and dimes = $12,501.20 
• Tears for Fears - Change
• Change: Should you buy a Liberty Dollar?
  
• Change: Yahoo’s TechTicker will feature Henry Blodget
• Change: HD-DVD vs. Blu-Ray
• Charge: Some banks charge $3 ATM fees?
• Eric Clapton - Change the World
• Do you agree with me that these would be great CHANGES:

• eliminate taxes on dividends, savings, capital gains, social security benefits, tips and repeal the death tax
• Freeze non-defense, non-entitlement spending at current levels
• televise Federal Reserve meetings
• legalize competing currencies
• repeal Sarbanes/Oxley

Out of the last 50 years or 600 months, October 1987 was the worst one month decline in Index Portfolios 15 to 100.

How long did it take Index Portfolios to recover?
IP100: after a 21.79% decline in Oct. 1987?
IP70: after a 16.62% decline in Oct. 1987?
IP50: after a 12.61% decline in Oct. 1987?
IP30: after a 8.12% decline in Oct. 1987?

• The only change you need to make is to rebalance your portfolio annually.
• Our Guru (and also a previous guru) says there’s little trouble investing in big China. China is trying to weather the harsh winter. But you don’t have to buy individual stocks, instead look at VWO, EEM, DEMSX, or a tiny tiny holding in FXI. He also said buy commodities. You can get VGPMX or DBC instead.
• Our Tool helps make your own books for the Kindle! Change: I’m liking my Kindle. I’ll probably read more than two books this year
• Next Friday: Update on Lazy Portfolio Smackdown
• CALL 206-734-4763 AND LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR SHOW #100

Music:
Tears for Fears - Change
Eric Clapton - If I Could Change the World

Music from music.podshow.com:
Runaway Train - Under Feather

• 

  Email me: feedback at Mad Money Machine dot com, or comment, or Call me on the Mad Money Machine voicemail line at 206-734-4763